just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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