Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
