i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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