she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
