I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
