Come see our sink grown plant.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
