Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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