I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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