what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
