VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
