I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
