I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
