he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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