I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
