You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
