So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
