I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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