You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
