dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize