It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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