I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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