I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
