Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
