I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just cut my nipple shaving
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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