I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
