oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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