could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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