God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize