I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
