woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
