Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
if you like me you must not know who I am
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
