May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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