I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
