she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
