and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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