Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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