It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
