Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
