I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
