So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
