Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Randomize
