she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
