Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
