I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
