Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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