Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
