We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
