ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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