i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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