non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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