Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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