yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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