Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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