Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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