you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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