Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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