i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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