Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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