You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You ruined the universe
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
